We haven’t been sleeping much. A. is teething and wanting to nurse and be held pretty much most of the time. I’ve been working in the garden with his twenty some pounds of napping self on my back, and doing a lot of tip toeing through the house during the 17 to 23 minutes naps in a desperate quest to preserve my little blurts of time alone.
I’m on the brink.
This cold weather though, is totally gorgeous. Between these feelings of being so raw because of the sleep deprivation and these autumn-like days, I am brought right back to this kid’s littleness. He’ll be a year old in a little over a month.
This is exactly what having autumn newborns was for me.
The heart wrenching warmth and beauty of these babes. The cold winds that made me want to just wrap them to my body, listen to mildly melancholy tunes, and sometimes just cry through the rawness, knowing there’s beauty and solace in it. The indoor time longing for outdoor time. Blessing these big windows, these mountains.
In the midst of this, I’ve been trying to rid the garden of quack grass. An uphill battle.
Between the literal weight of the load and forgetting to add yeast to the loaves, I appreciate that this is life with littles.
And I try to keep my chipper chin up.